"Waiting on you all to be free," so sang George Harrison of Beatles fame. One thing I have noticed about old folks...they are in no great hurry to do anything; they have, it seems, plenty of time left to do the necessary details of their lives. Or, maybe it is just that they cannot move very quickly. But many elders have the attitude that nothing's going to catch up with them if they are not in a fantastic rush. While all the world is going to hell and in such a hurry at that, the older one gets, the easy it is to say, "So be it."
But of course, there are still the young desires in an old body & mind. " I get old, and see that renunciation is what happens, " so wrote the good poet Allen GInsberg in the introduction to the Hare Krishna's Bhagavad-gita.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
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waiting, waiting, waiting...
Here I sit, waiting for the Apocalypse, one hand in today, the other in yesterday, waiting, waiting. Seems like all I do is wait. Wait in line at the grocery store; wait in line at the bank; wait for the elevator that never comes; wait for a slow computer, impatience for today to be over...and finally, awaiting on death, that most assured of moments as certain as taxes and as sure that a politician when he opens is mouth will spew forth lies and more lies.
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
It is late at night, though only another hour to the witching hour of midnight...things change as day becomes night, as night becomes black...and blacker. Is there really a God? If so, what does He look like (Is He even a he?). To whom am I writing this blog... Is there anybody out there? Has everyone died and left me behind? Who was it who said, "Hell is other people."??
Sometimes, when I have nothing to do and wonder why I was born here on this earth, at this time, I wonder how, when I pass grave-sites with their ominous forebodings and not so subtle messages left behind by other souils like/not like myself, I have no other reason for living, the voice says, than to grow, learn, and try my damndest to keep my shadow personality where it belongs, in the back seat and not in the driver's seat of this, my life, and this, my body, mind and spirit.
So, how old am I, really? Does it matter? Yes, in a strange way it does and yet...
the soul is ancient, indestructible ( ask any suicide whether you can kill the soul) and the soul will answer, "I am what am, I am what is, I am, I am."
Well, if you're still with me, on this crazy merry-go-round of a circus only real in the mind, in this realm of make-believe and pretend as we do....we are all pretending we are these illusory bodies, we all do not exist forever in these material bodies...we have a certain time in which we live and breath and have our being shared with others, for good or ill, for better or for worse, or during the spare moments when one pauses and thinks, 'yes, this life will end but I, I the Soul, will continue until the last syllable of recorded time. Thus, life on planet earth is a living hell, and one must prepare for death lest we fall asleep and not wake up here....but we continue, there is pause between our journey of this life and the next, the bardo is where we are and we shall not be terminated by some madman with a bomb or atomic missile in his/her hand. The absolute victory of the spirit over matter, of life over death, and the sheer joy of being a yea-sayer on this planet earth, now and forever Amen.
Sometimes, when I have nothing to do and wonder why I was born here on this earth, at this time, I wonder how, when I pass grave-sites with their ominous forebodings and not so subtle messages left behind by other souils like/not like myself, I have no other reason for living, the voice says, than to grow, learn, and try my damndest to keep my shadow personality where it belongs, in the back seat and not in the driver's seat of this, my life, and this, my body, mind and spirit.
So, how old am I, really? Does it matter? Yes, in a strange way it does and yet...
the soul is ancient, indestructible ( ask any suicide whether you can kill the soul) and the soul will answer, "I am what am, I am what is, I am, I am."
Well, if you're still with me, on this crazy merry-go-round of a circus only real in the mind, in this realm of make-believe and pretend as we do....we are all pretending we are these illusory bodies, we all do not exist forever in these material bodies...we have a certain time in which we live and breath and have our being shared with others, for good or ill, for better or for worse, or during the spare moments when one pauses and thinks, 'yes, this life will end but I, I the Soul, will continue until the last syllable of recorded time. Thus, life on planet earth is a living hell, and one must prepare for death lest we fall asleep and not wake up here....but we continue, there is pause between our journey of this life and the next, the bardo is where we are and we shall not be terminated by some madman with a bomb or atomic missile in his/her hand. The absolute victory of the spirit over matter, of life over death, and the sheer joy of being a yea-sayer on this planet earth, now and forever Amen.
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